In every courageous effort, a lion is born... sewing through the fabric, I rely on the norm to adjust myself to the time being 'worn'...

Sorry, but I've lost my inspiration lately, thinking this life hates me...
Haven't been right lately...
Tried to just write, maybe these bad habits have caught up...
Maybe I'm just stifling more... maybe it's eating at my system, getting right to the core...
I mean, despite being torn between work and school
I still try to perform, seeing myself spinning in the eye of the storm...
In every courageous effort, a lion is born...
sewing through the fabric, I rely on the norm to adjust
myself to the time being 'worn'...
Tears in my eyes dry on my cheek as the inside of me
reeks, opposite of my diet physique...
I rhyme and I speak to these guys that are inspired by me...
And help em' climb to the height of their peak... but this time, I'm just weak...
So... with that being said, I apologize...
Just can't get with the modern times...
I feel lobotomized... even worse... I'm a precursor for where the bottom lies...
So sick of myself... I picture myself being insisted for help...
in which I won't get for myself... self-medicate...
through an anesthetic state... head awake... sitting in my bed, it's late...
or early... 1 AM in the morning, , my heart...
is beating abnormally, warning me of deformities...
Yeah... heard it loud in clear, my intestinal linings crying "Get me out of here"...
But I can't help it.
I'm so damn selfish. As I stand, helpless.
Waiting. For the doctors to take me in as a patient...
Picture my family staring back at me - grim is their faces...
Guess it relates back to the social awkwardness and limited placement...
Malcolm in the Middle... yet the eldest of my 3 brothers
Suffering inner turmoil, can't even talk to each other...
But I was to be the man in the situation and pan it out...
Seemed like I didn't know the first thing to what a man's about...
I rambled about and loss a vital relationship there...
In further away we grew in that family cycle, making it weird...
Only real relationship I have is with my parents...
But fuck, I'm so embarrassed to speak... that they can hear my hindrance
in there, the defeat... the uncertainty that's working me...
Peaking behind the curtain screen... looking back at them, nervously...
Bounded to my own descent, but these words are free...
to fly as high as they like in the air, up there where a bird should be...
Even as I write this now? I feel the pain
that I gotta hold back... because my fans shouldn't know that...
They should see a strong role model, with positive feelings...
A man that bares his soul risks looking like he's soft...
So, despite being lost... I have to say that I'm found...
And if I say I teared up, I follow it up with "I was playing around..."
However, reality will eventually show...
And aide the process of events to help me mentally grow...
This is me - you either like it or hate it...
The good, the bad, and the ugly of what my life has created
Since the day I was born, I was shy... didn't say much
and it was hard to hold conversations with people
This bravado was painted up...
Seems like it ain't enough to be me I gotta play as tough...
Like I completely made it up...